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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Kinda
Rope
Eye
Use
Three
Men
World
Creme
Dude

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationship just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning
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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
Greg Behrendt
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
Greg Behrendt
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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
Greg Behrendt
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
Greg Behrendt
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
Greg Behrendt
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
Greg Behrendt
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
Greg Behrendt
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
Greg Behrendt