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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Fine
Butterscotch
Cheetah
Cheetahs
Sweater
Sweaters
Pants

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
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Don't waste the pretty
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
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Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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You are not easily forgotten.
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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
Greg Behrendt
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There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
Greg Behrendt