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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Butterscotch
Cheetah
Cheetahs
Sweater
Sweaters
Pants
Fine

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
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There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
Greg Behrendt