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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Wasting
Blows
Wasted
Blow
Relationship
Time

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..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
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He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
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Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
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Don't waste the pretty
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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