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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Really
Men
Cheating
Exact
Hiding
Opposite
Opposites
Behavior
Lying

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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
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You are not easily forgotten.
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
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