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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Place
Dream
Like
Prettiest
Planet
Planets
Childhood
Lasts
Last

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
Greg Behrendt
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
Greg Behrendt
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You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
Greg Behrendt
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Don't waste the pretty
Greg Behrendt
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Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
Greg Behrendt
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
Greg Behrendt
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
Greg Behrendt
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The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
Greg Behrendt
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Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
Greg Behrendt
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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
Greg Behrendt
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
Greg Behrendt
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
Greg Behrendt
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt
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There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
Greg Behrendt
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt