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The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Realize
Realizing
Anyone
Start
Sense
Make

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Don't waste the pretty
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
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Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.
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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
Greg Behrendt
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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
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