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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Ways
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Shows
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Really
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More quotes by Greg Behrendt
Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt
It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
Greg Behrendt
When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
Greg Behrendt
Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
Greg Behrendt
..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
Greg Behrendt
I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
Greg Behrendt
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt
Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Greg Behrendt
If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
Greg Behrendt
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt
People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
Greg Behrendt
There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
Greg Behrendt
Don't waste the pretty
Greg Behrendt
She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
Greg Behrendt
