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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Show
Shows
Many
Much
Theme
Really
Product
Products
Way
Stand
People
Ways

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
Greg Behrendt
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
Greg Behrendt
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
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I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
Greg Behrendt
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
Greg Behrendt
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Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
Greg Behrendt
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
Greg Behrendt
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
Greg Behrendt
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...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
Greg Behrendt
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
Greg Behrendt
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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
Greg Behrendt
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People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
Greg Behrendt
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
Greg Behrendt
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt
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We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
Greg Behrendt