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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Pain
Drugs
May
Drinking
Drug
Sex
Eating
Rebound
Number
Shopping
Numbers
Poison
Whatever
Revenge

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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
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People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
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He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
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Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
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Don't waste the pretty
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
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There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
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