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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Relationship
Four
Guy
Bigs
Dawns
Trying
Jerk
Years
Dawn
Selfish
Suddenly
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
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There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
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Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
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Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
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I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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