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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Selfish
Suddenly
Relationship
Four
Guy
Bigs
Dawns
Trying
Jerk
Years
Dawn

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
Greg Behrendt
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
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Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
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The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
Greg Behrendt
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
Greg Behrendt
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
Greg Behrendt
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I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
Greg Behrendt
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
Greg Behrendt
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We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
Greg Behrendt