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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Relationship
Four
Guy
Bigs
Dawns
Trying
Jerk
Years
Dawn
Selfish
Suddenly

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationship just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
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Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
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...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
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The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
Greg Behrendt
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I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
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Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.
Greg Behrendt
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You are not easily forgotten.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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