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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Impaired
Drunk
Likes
Judgment
Wants

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
Greg Behrendt
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
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Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
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You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
Greg Behrendt
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People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
Greg Behrendt
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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
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We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
Greg Behrendt
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Greg Behrendt
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
Greg Behrendt