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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Likes
Judgment
Wants
Impaired
Drunk

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
Greg Behrendt
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Greg Behrendt
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
Greg Behrendt
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't waste the pretty
Greg Behrendt
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...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
Greg Behrendt
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
Greg Behrendt
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt
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There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
Greg Behrendt
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt