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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Gross
Faces
Hope
Young
People

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
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Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
Greg Behrendt
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There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt