Quote

I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.

Greg Behrendt

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Cadbury
Eggs
Friends
Less

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

Image
We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
Greg Behrendt
Image
There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
Greg Behrendt
Image
There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Good enough to tweet, not to say.
Greg Behrendt
Image
An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
Greg Behrendt
Image
The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
Greg Behrendt
Image
When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
Greg Behrendt
Image
It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt
Image
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
Image
Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
Image
He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
Image
But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
Image
How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
Greg Behrendt
Image
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
Greg Behrendt
Image
One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationship just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning
Greg Behrendt