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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Eggs
Friends
Less
Cadbury

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
Greg Behrendt
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It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
Greg Behrendt
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
Greg Behrendt
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
Greg Behrendt
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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
Greg Behrendt
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
Greg Behrendt
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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
Greg Behrendt
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
Greg Behrendt
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
Greg Behrendt
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My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
Greg Behrendt
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
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Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
Greg Behrendt
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
Greg Behrendt
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
Greg Behrendt
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The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
Greg Behrendt
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
Greg Behrendt