Quote

Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

Greg Behrendt

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Like
Picking
Personally
Cry
Ones
Sleep
Friends
Make

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

Image
Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
Greg Behrendt
Image
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
Greg Behrendt
Image
But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
Image
It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
Image
First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt
Image
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
Image
The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Good enough to tweet, not to say.
Greg Behrendt
Image
...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
Greg Behrendt
Image
I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
Image
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
Greg Behrendt
Image
It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
Greg Behrendt