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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Friends
Make
Like
Picking
Personally
Cry
Ones
Sleep

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
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Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
Greg Behrendt
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He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
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There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
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The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
Greg Behrendt
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
Greg Behrendt