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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Ones
Sleep
Friends
Make
Like
Picking
Personally
Cry

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
Greg Behrendt
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt
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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
Greg Behrendt
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
Greg Behrendt
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
Greg Behrendt
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One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationship just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning
Greg Behrendt
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
Greg Behrendt
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
Greg Behrendt
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
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I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
Greg Behrendt
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt
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It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
Greg Behrendt
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
Greg Behrendt
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Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
Greg Behrendt