Quote

I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.

Greg Behrendt

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Life
Observations
Louis
Talks
Observation
Great
Patton
Really
Wordplay
Way
Astute
Love
Observes

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

Image
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt
Image
People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
Greg Behrendt
Image
..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
Greg Behrendt
Image
He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
Image
How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
Greg Behrendt
Image
If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
Greg Behrendt
Image
Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt
Image
Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
Greg Behrendt
Image
A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
Greg Behrendt
Image
There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt
Image
She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
Greg Behrendt
Image
One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationship just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning
Greg Behrendt
Image
Don't waste the pretty
Greg Behrendt
Image
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
Greg Behrendt
Image
An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
Greg Behrendt