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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Talks
Observation
Great
Patton
Really
Wordplay
Way
Astute
Love
Observes
Life
Observations
Louis

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
Greg Behrendt
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt
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It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
Greg Behrendt
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My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Greg Behrendt
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I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
Greg Behrendt