Quote

I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.

Greg Behrendt

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Life
Observations
Louis
Talks
Observation
Great
Patton
Really
Wordplay
Way
Astute
Love
Observes

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

Image
Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
Image
I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
Image
The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
Greg Behrendt
Image
The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
Greg Behrendt
Image
You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
Greg Behrendt
Image
Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt
Image
If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
Greg Behrendt
Image
First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt
Image
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Greg Behrendt
Image
There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
Greg Behrendt
Image
If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt
Image
The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
Greg Behrendt