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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Love
Observes
Life
Observations
Louis
Talks
Observation
Great
Patton
Really
Wordplay
Way
Astute
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
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...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
Greg Behrendt
There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
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Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Greg Behrendt
For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
Greg Behrendt
Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
Greg Behrendt
My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
Greg Behrendt
Don't waste the pretty
Greg Behrendt
