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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Observation
Great
Patton
Really
Wordplay
Way
Astute
Love
Observes
Life
Observations
Louis
Talks

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
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Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
Greg Behrendt
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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't waste the pretty
Greg Behrendt
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
Greg Behrendt
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Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Greg Behrendt
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
Greg Behrendt
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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
Greg Behrendt
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
Greg Behrendt
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
Greg Behrendt
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
Greg Behrendt
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
Greg Behrendt
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
Greg Behrendt
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt