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There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Back
Going
Crappy
Really
Exes
Boyfriend
Guy
Happy
Didn
Together

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
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Don't waste the pretty
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
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My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
Greg Behrendt
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
Greg Behrendt