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There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Guy
Happy
Didn
Together
Back
Going
Crappy
Really
Exes
Boyfriend
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
Greg Behrendt
Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
Greg Behrendt
Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
Greg Behrendt
Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
Greg Behrendt
I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt
As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
Greg Behrendt
People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
Greg Behrendt
If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt
Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
Greg Behrendt
I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
Greg Behrendt
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
You are not easily forgotten.
Greg Behrendt
Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
Greg Behrendt
Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Greg Behrendt
Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt
Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
Greg Behrendt
Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
Greg Behrendt
