Quote

I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.

Greg Behrendt

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Tried
Anything
Book
Never
Dating
Comedian
Wrote
Pass

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

Image
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
Image
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
Greg Behrendt
Image
It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
Greg Behrendt
Image
For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
Image
As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
Greg Behrendt
Image
We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
Greg Behrendt
Image
A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Greg Behrendt
Image
You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
Greg Behrendt
Image
I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
Greg Behrendt
Image
If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
Greg Behrendt
Image
...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
Greg Behrendt
Image
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
Image
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
Greg Behrendt
Image
First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt