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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Left
Coats
Facts
Disappear
Someone
Painful
Persons
Loved
Person
Probably
Reason
Face
Grabbed
Long
Faces
Disappears
Time
Fact
Coat

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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
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Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
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You are not easily forgotten.
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Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
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