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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Often
Thought
Worse
Actually
Pain
Moving

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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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You are not easily forgotten.
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It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
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You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
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One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationship just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning
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