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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Better
Nothing
Enough
Good

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Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
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It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
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The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
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