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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Good
Better
Nothing
Enough

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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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You are not easily forgotten.
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
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I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
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Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
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