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We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Become
Mean
Make
Things
Sloppy
People
Promises
Bunch
Promise
Keep

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
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Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
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People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
Greg Behrendt
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't waste the pretty
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
Greg Behrendt
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
Greg Behrendt
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Greg Behrendt
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Greg Behrendt