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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
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More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
Greg Behrendt
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
Greg Behrendt
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
Greg Behrendt
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Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
Greg Behrendt
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
Greg Behrendt
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
Greg Behrendt
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I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
Greg Behrendt
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
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He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
Greg Behrendt
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
Greg Behrendt
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There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
Greg Behrendt
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt