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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Forgets
Guy
Forget
Things
Life
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
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There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
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..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
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Don't waste the pretty
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
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