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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Forgets
Guy
Forget
Things
Life
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
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The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
Greg Behrendt
Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt
Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
Greg Behrendt
First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt
My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt