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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Trust
Says
Doubt
Means
Mean
Every
Time

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
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He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
Greg Behrendt
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
Greg Behrendt
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
Greg Behrendt
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
Greg Behrendt
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
Greg Behrendt