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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Time
Proportional
Breakup
Directly
Takes
Better
Feel
Feels

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
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There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
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I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
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...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
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The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
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