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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Hurt
Wrong
Brokenhearted
Nothing
Ribs
Looks
Hurts
Every
Breath
Like
Breaths
Outside
Broken
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
Greg Behrendt
Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt
You are not easily forgotten.
Greg Behrendt
Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt
If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
Greg Behrendt
As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
Greg Behrendt
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
Greg Behrendt
Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
Greg Behrendt
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Greg Behrendt
Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
Greg Behrendt
There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
Greg Behrendt
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
Greg Behrendt
Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
Greg Behrendt
I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
Greg Behrendt
Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
Greg Behrendt
