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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Every
Breath
Like
Breaths
Outside
Broken
Hurt
Wrong
Brokenhearted
Nothing
Ribs
Looks
Hurts

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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
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The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
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