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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Outside
Broken
Hurt
Wrong
Brokenhearted
Nothing
Ribs
Looks
Hurts
Every
Breath
Like
Breaths

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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
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Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
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The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
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Don't waste the pretty
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
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I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
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