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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Men
Like
Deal
Deals
Comes

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
Greg Behrendt
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Greg Behrendt
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
Greg Behrendt
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
Greg Behrendt
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
Greg Behrendt
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt
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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
Greg Behrendt
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt
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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
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Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
Greg Behrendt
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
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The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
Greg Behrendt
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
Greg Behrendt
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Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
Greg Behrendt
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
Greg Behrendt
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Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
Greg Behrendt
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We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
Greg Behrendt