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Always be classy. Never be crazy.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Classy
Crazy
Always
Never

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Greg Behrendt
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I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
Greg Behrendt
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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
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There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
Greg Behrendt
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
Greg Behrendt
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Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Greg Behrendt
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
Greg Behrendt
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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
Greg Behrendt
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt
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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
Greg Behrendt
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..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
Greg Behrendt
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
Greg Behrendt
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
Greg Behrendt
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
Greg Behrendt
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Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
Greg Behrendt
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt