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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Dating
Bored
Misery
Type

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
Greg Behrendt
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
Greg Behrendt
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Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.
Greg Behrendt
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Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
Greg Behrendt
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I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
Greg Behrendt
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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
Greg Behrendt
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
Greg Behrendt
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He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
Greg Behrendt
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
Greg Behrendt
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
Greg Behrendt
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
Greg Behrendt
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Greg Behrendt
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
Greg Behrendt