Quote

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend

Greg Behrendt

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Men
Plasma
Girlfriend
Married
Firsts
Need
First
Needs
Never

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

Image
Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
Image
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
Image
A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Greg Behrendt
Image
If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
Greg Behrendt
Image
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
Greg Behrendt
Image
If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt
Image
My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
Greg Behrendt
Image
There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
Greg Behrendt
Image
She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Always be classy. Never be crazy.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
Image
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt
Image
For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
Greg Behrendt
Image
You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
Greg Behrendt
Image
Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
Greg Behrendt
Image
I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
Greg Behrendt