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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Bullshit
Relationships
Tired
Seeing
Women
Great

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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
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For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
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Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
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Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
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He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
Greg Behrendt