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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Bullshit
Relationships
Tired
Seeing
Women
Great

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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
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Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
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Don't waste the pretty
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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