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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Great
Bullshit
Relationships
Tired
Seeing
Women

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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
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The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
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For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
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Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
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My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt