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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Even
Lose
Yell
Would
Cities
Bus
Men
Loses
Cry
Simply
Worse
Quite
Window
Sure
Kill
Rather
City
Tell
Arms
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
Greg Behrendt
The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
Greg Behrendt
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
Greg Behrendt
Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt
Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
Greg Behrendt
The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
Greg Behrendt
A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Greg Behrendt
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
Greg Behrendt
Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
Greg Behrendt
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt
It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
Greg Behrendt
If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
Greg Behrendt
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
Greg Behrendt
Good enough to tweet, not to say.
Greg Behrendt
Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
Greg Behrendt