Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
Greg Behrendt
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Outstanding
Available
Alone
Means
Someone
Also
Mean
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
Greg Behrendt
You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
Greg Behrendt
The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
Greg Behrendt
Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
Greg Behrendt
A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Greg Behrendt
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
Greg Behrendt
People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
Greg Behrendt
Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
Greg Behrendt
Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
Greg Behrendt
I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
Greg Behrendt
My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
Greg Behrendt
An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
Greg Behrendt
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
Greg Behrendt
Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt
I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
Greg Behrendt
Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.
Greg Behrendt
I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt