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Don't waste the pretty
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Waste
Pretty
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
Greg Behrendt
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
Greg Behrendt
I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
Greg Behrendt
I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
Greg Behrendt
He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
Greg Behrendt
It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
Greg Behrendt
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt
I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
Greg Behrendt
...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
Greg Behrendt
Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
Greg Behrendt
Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt
There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
Greg Behrendt
Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
Greg Behrendt
Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
Greg Behrendt