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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Cheaters
Cheater
Suck
Prosper
Never

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
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You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
Greg Behrendt
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
Greg Behrendt
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For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
Greg Behrendt
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
Greg Behrendt