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If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.
Graham Norton
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Graham Norton
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: April 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Presenter
Radio Personality
Television Presenter
Graham William Walker
Graham Walker
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More quotes by Graham Norton
It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.
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Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No!
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Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.
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I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case.
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Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.
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Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?'
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I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.
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Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.
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Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean.
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I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.
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All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.
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All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth.
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I am really bad at actually interviewing people.
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I loved Lucille Ball growing up.
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All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly.
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I am very quick to judge.
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I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.
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You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth time is our friend.
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My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.
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One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life.
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